Catriona (mydarkstar) wrote in swansongs,
Catriona
mydarkstar
swansongs

Sooo...

Anybody else signing up for this?
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i have. d'oh.
Well, of course you did, you're a pervert. Watch, now they're going to slash us together, and the whole story will consist of us sitting around watching the Evil Dead movies and squeeing over Ash, or something. And then sex. Possibly involving branches.
Twi + Ang in an Evil Dead AU? WHICH ONE OF US WILL TURN INTO THE EVIL DEAD AND WHICH ONE WILL WIND UP WITH A CHAINSAW FOR A HAND?
I WANT THE CHAINSAW, BITCH! NO CHAINSAW FOR YOU!

But wait. Typing with a chainsaw hand would totally suck. Now I'm torn.
Well, but there's also the AoD metal-hand-from-armour. Maybe you could type with that. You know, eventually.
Those fingers looked pretty thick, though (er...), and I'm clumsy enough as it is. Oh, alright, I'll be the Deadite. Oh, Ash Ang! Shoot me with your massive rifle! I've been soooo naughty!
Er.... You know what? as the one with the metal vibrator coming in the mail? I'm not going to talk about thick metal fingers. Not at all.

Anyway.

Fuck you gently with a chainsaw?
Thus bringing your obsession with heavy metal full circle. *buh-dum-bum-ching*

That, too. Hit me with a shovel! Harder!
And oddly enough, it's called Heavy Metal. *snort*

THIS IS MY BOOMSTICK!
Ang's Vibrator: Coming soon to Ozzfest! h@rdc0re omg!11!!

"Boom" in this case being a clever euphemism for "orgasm." Does it turn you on when I try to eat your hair?

(Twi needs sleep. Sleeeeep...)
So, are we going with ED1 or ED2's theory of how one gets all zombiefied? Because, damn. If you're chewing on my hair? That's pretty damn dangerously close to GETTING ZOMBIEFIED.

*locks you in the cellar. with lots of sexy chains.*

BOOM
Uh, ED1. I think. Actually, neither of them really make any sense, because dude, did anything even happen to the hair-chewing guy to make him go possessed? You'd think it would've been Bobbie Joe, because I'd probably welcome demonic possession just so I could forget the sensation of having a dead person's eyeball in my mouth.

But, but, Ang! I'm all right now. Let me out! We'll have sex! Completely normal, non-demonic sex!
*fucks you gently*

... with a chainsaw.

or a boomstick
Once upon a time, Ang and Twi had sex with each other in a tree. It was hot and sexy and oh-so-very-gawthic.

The end.

P.S. Ash is hot.
nonono. You've got it all wrong. Once upon a time, Ash, who was really sexy and had a metal hand (ahem), was a real dumbass and, upon finding the Necronomicon, started reading from it again because he didn't realize it was a FUCKING BOOK BOUND WITH HUMAN SKIN, and then the trees came. And raped Ang and Twi. and they turned into zombies and ate Ash's brain.

PS. They kept his hand.
bite me bitch! I like my STORY WHY ARE YOU BEING MEEN TO MY SOTRY YOU ARE SO MEEN

also, human skin is hott+++tttt. bitch.

PS. I luv you--wait sorry wrong journal.

PPS. I need vofffeeeeeee. coffee even. or coffee that does not takste like ASS. ass is a bad taste

ppps. I am so sos osrry. really i am.
But really, human skin is hotttttt. I want a necronomicon. but does it have to be about death and awfulness? coudln't it be the teddybearsandrainbowsnomicon?
Where do you think the Care Bears came from?
How long have you been awake? I'm working on 30 hours over here.

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Can I really? Yay!

So, like, does it turn you on when I try to eat your hair?